My Dear Friends,
When my dear nephew Russell was a little boy, I told him stories to help him learn life’s lessons. Now as an adult, by dear nephew Russell tells me that the stories I told him helped make him the man he is today. He has suggested that I use my talent of telling stories to help inform all my dear friends of what is going on in the City of Los Angeles. So, from time to time, I will share with all my dear friends stories of life's lessons in the City of Los Angeles.
Today’s story is entitled "Little Man Mike LoGrande. I Think I Can. I Think I can. I Think I can!"
He was a very ordinary man, nothing special, nothing grand, he was Little Man Mike LoGrande, spending his life with no direction or plan. Then one day he decided to change his life, but he didn’t know how. All Little Man Mike LoGrande knew was that he didn’t want to be ordinary anymore. He decided to start his quest by going to the local library and reading inspirational books on success. Poor Little Man Mike LoGrande was so ordinary that he couldn’t comprehend the words he read. The librarian, seeing Little Man Mike LoGrande’s frustration, took him over to the children’s section, and handed him the book entitled The Little Engine That Could. Although Little Man Mike LoGrande still had a difficult time reading the book, something inside of him knew that he had finally found the secret to no longer being ordinary. Little Man Mike LoGrande finally found someone that he could relate to, someone who could be a true inspiration to him. Little Man Mike LoGrande decided that if The Little Blue Engine, in The Little Engine That could, could accomplish his goals, so could he, and Little Man Mike LoGrande began to repeat over and over again, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! Nothing in life would ever be beyond his reach again, he would no longer be an ordinary man!
Little Man Mike LoGrande had heard that the City of Los Angeles was hiring new Associate Zoning Administrators. It didn’t matter that he had no experience or knowledge, for he now knew the secret to success in life, and nothing would ever be beyond his reach again! No need to study, no need to prepare, all Little Man Mike LoGrande had to do was repeat over and over again; I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! When the test results for Associate Zoning Administrators were announced, Little Man Mike LoGrande cried tears of happiness. For the first time in his life he was no longer last. His dream of no longer being ordinary was finally in his grasp. Out of thirty people taking the test, two people had scored lower than him. Little Man Mike LoGrande was a new man. Nothing in life would ever be beyond his reach again, he would no longer be an ordinary man!
Even though there were just a few Associate Zoning Administrator positions available, and even though so many others had scored higher than Little Man Mike LoGrande, he simply repeated over and over again; I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! And sure enough, within a short time, Little Man Mike LoGrande got the job. Nothing in life would ever be beyond his reach again, he would no longer be an ordinary man!
Most people would be satisfied with so much new success, but that wasn’t enough for Little Man Mike LoGrande, for he would never be ordinary again! The new Director of Planning, Gale Goldberg, circulated a memo, that she had a plan. She had decided to "rotate the position of Acting Chief Zoning Administrator, in the spirit of providing learning opportunities for as many people as possible." Little Man Mike LoGrande thought this idea was grand, but he had an even better plan. He had no intention of sharing the position with others, when he was such a special man. He simply repeated over and over again; I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! And he convinced Gale Goldberg to appoint him the man. None of the other Associate Zoning Administrators were given the chance, except for Little Man Mike LoGrande. Nothing in life would ever be beyond his reach again, he would no longer be an ordinary man!
Little Man Mike LoGrand remained Acting Chief Zoning Administrator for over a year, even though the law only allowed for one term of one-hundred-twenty-days, with one additional extension of another one-hundred-twenty-days. But that wasn’t enough for Little Man Mike LoGrande. Once again he repeated over and over again; I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! And within a short time, Little Man Mike LoGrande proved again that he wasn’t just an ordinary man. Gale Goldberg appointed Little Man Mike LoGrande Permanent Chief Zoning Administrator. It didn’t matter that many other Associate Zoning Administrators were far more qualified, and had years of experience, unlike that of Little Man Mike LoGrande. Nothing in life would ever be beyond his reach again, he would no longer be an ordinary man!
Unfortunately, for poor misguided Little Man Mike LoGrande, words alone don’t change you from being an ordinary man. Without knowledge and skill, no plan, no matter how grand, could change Little Man Mike LoGrande, from being an ordinary man! Many people throughout the City of L A suffered because of this silly little man. Now you can find Little Man Mike LoGrande, still sitting at the desk of the Chief Zoning Administrator, but he no longer repeats over and over again; I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! Instead, while more and more people demand his resignation, he now repeats over and over again; I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could! How sad for Little Man Mike LoGrande, he would forever be an ordinary man!
My Dear Friends,
A dear wonderful man named Bob Janovici devoted his life for many years as Chief Zoning Administrator for the City of Los Angeles. He made it one of the most respected agencies in the entire City. A few years ago, while on his way to work, dear Bob Janovici was seriously injured in a train crash, and had to retire. Within the short time Little Man Mike LoGrande has been Chief Zoning Administrator, he has destroyed the reputation of a Department that it took dear Bob Janovici years to build! It saddens me to have to tell you about the many people that have suffered because of poor misguided Little Man Mike LoGrande. A dear new friend sent me an e-mail about a dear disabled woman who lives in the West Adams area of Los Angeles, who went to Little Man Mike LoGrande for help with her disability. She has a medical condition that makes it very difficult to walk. Because of the limited parking in her neighborhood, she was forced to walk several blocks to her home when she got home from work at night, in a neighborhood with a high crime rate. Her only solution was to build a driveway at her home. The Former California State Attorney General, Bill Locklear, instructed the City of Los Angeles in 2001, that "local governments have an affirmative duty under fair housing laws to provide reasonable accommodation in disabled housing." He advised jurisdictions, including Los Angeles, "not to use existing variance or condition use permit process because they do not provide the correct standard for making fair housing determinations and because the public process used in making entitlement determinations fosters opposition to much needed housing for individuals with disabilities." On March 18, 2006, Ordinance No. 177.325; Municipal Code Section 12.22-A, 27, became effective "for the purpose of establishing a formal procedure for ‘Reasonable Accommodation’ for individuals with a disability when seeking equal access to housing in Los Angeles." Unfortunately, poor misguided Little Man Mike LoGrande didn’t understand that as Chief Zoning Administrator, he had a responsibility to make sure that this new law was implemented. Instead, when this dear disabled woman from the West Adams area of Los Angeles went to the Department of Zoning, she was told that her only option was to file for a Yard Variance. This dear woman was never advised of her right as a disabled person to file for Reasonable Accommodation, under Los Angeles Municipal Code Section 12.22-A, 27. Instead, this dear woman was force to pay several thousand dollars in fees, only to be told that her needs as a disabled person weren’t as important as historic preservation and visual blight! I am told that this decision violates federal, state, and local law, but that didn’t deter Little Man Mike LoGrande! Because this dear woman from the West Adams area of Los Angeles was a recent widow who didn’t have a lot of money, she attempted to have her daughter appeal the decision to the Planning Commission, at a much cheaper fee than she would have to pay. I am told that the law allows this, but Little Man Mike LoGrande, attempted to prevent this dear woman from getting justice and rejected her daughter’s appeal. Instead, this dear woman was forced to pay close to a thousand dollars more to appeal Little Man Mike LoGrande Department’s decision. It wasn’t until the dear new friend who told me about this matter got involved, that Little Man Mike LoGrande was finally force through threat of civil action against the City of Los Angeles, to correctly grant this dear disabled woman the right to build a driveway at her home, as the law allows her to do because of her disability, and refund the thousands of dollars she had been wrongly forced to pay! The irony of this story is that unlike hundreds of her neighbors in the West Adams community who have illegally built driveways at their homes, this dear woman obeyed the law, and Little Man Mike LoGrande punished her for her honesty!
In another example, some dear people with the South Vermont Avenue Community Coalition
attempted to get Little Man Mike LoGrande to proceed with revocation of Conditional Use Permits to sell alcohol at several locations where crime was rampant and destroying the neighborhood. Unfortunately, Little Man Mike LoGrande only took action against a few locations, and crime problems has continued at the other locations that he ignored! Little Man Mike LoGrande was presented with a four-hundred-and-fifty signature petition, along with personal letters from residents and businesses in the Fairfax District concerning a 7-11 Store that has become a meeting place for criminal activity. Little Man Mike LoGrande was even given letters from dear little children as young as five that live near this 7-11 Store, stating that they were fearful to even go outside to play! But, Little Man Mike LoGrande has ignored the problem and refused to take any action! In yet another example, Little Man Mike LoGrande has proposed to raise the Quimby fees for adaptive reuse, live-work projects in Downtown Los Angeles. Quimby fees were enacted to have developers of residential projects pay for park projects within two miles of their residential developments. However, it appears that no one can locate where the millions of dollars paid into this fun have gone. Now, Little Man Mike LoGrande wants to raise the fees. I can only wonder if anyone has checked to see if Little Man Mike LoGrande has any new landscaping at his home? The list of incompetence displayed by poor misguided Little Man Mike LoGrande is far too long and at my age, I don’t have the energy to mention them all. Instead, I hope that some of my dear friends out there will make suggestions to dear misguided Little Man Mike Logrande, of a job more suitable for a man with such limited abilities. Maybe then Little Man Mike LoGrande will finally be happy. I know all of us that live in the City of Los Angeles will be happy to see him go!
This is your Auntie Mae wishing you all a wonderful day!
When my dear nephew Russell was a little boy, I told him stories to help him learn life’s lessons. Now as an adult, by dear nephew Russell tells me that the stories I told him helped make him the man he is today. He has suggested that I use my talent of telling stories to help inform all my dear friends of what is going on in the City of Los Angeles. So, from time to time, I will share with all my dear friends stories of life's lessons in the City of Los Angeles.
Today’s story is entitled "Little Man Mike LoGrande. I Think I Can. I Think I can. I Think I can!"
He was a very ordinary man, nothing special, nothing grand, he was Little Man Mike LoGrande, spending his life with no direction or plan. Then one day he decided to change his life, but he didn’t know how. All Little Man Mike LoGrande knew was that he didn’t want to be ordinary anymore. He decided to start his quest by going to the local library and reading inspirational books on success. Poor Little Man Mike LoGrande was so ordinary that he couldn’t comprehend the words he read. The librarian, seeing Little Man Mike LoGrande’s frustration, took him over to the children’s section, and handed him the book entitled The Little Engine That Could. Although Little Man Mike LoGrande still had a difficult time reading the book, something inside of him knew that he had finally found the secret to no longer being ordinary. Little Man Mike LoGrande finally found someone that he could relate to, someone who could be a true inspiration to him. Little Man Mike LoGrande decided that if The Little Blue Engine, in The Little Engine That could, could accomplish his goals, so could he, and Little Man Mike LoGrande began to repeat over and over again, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! Nothing in life would ever be beyond his reach again, he would no longer be an ordinary man!
Little Man Mike LoGrande had heard that the City of Los Angeles was hiring new Associate Zoning Administrators. It didn’t matter that he had no experience or knowledge, for he now knew the secret to success in life, and nothing would ever be beyond his reach again! No need to study, no need to prepare, all Little Man Mike LoGrande had to do was repeat over and over again; I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! When the test results for Associate Zoning Administrators were announced, Little Man Mike LoGrande cried tears of happiness. For the first time in his life he was no longer last. His dream of no longer being ordinary was finally in his grasp. Out of thirty people taking the test, two people had scored lower than him. Little Man Mike LoGrande was a new man. Nothing in life would ever be beyond his reach again, he would no longer be an ordinary man!
Even though there were just a few Associate Zoning Administrator positions available, and even though so many others had scored higher than Little Man Mike LoGrande, he simply repeated over and over again; I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! And sure enough, within a short time, Little Man Mike LoGrande got the job. Nothing in life would ever be beyond his reach again, he would no longer be an ordinary man!
Most people would be satisfied with so much new success, but that wasn’t enough for Little Man Mike LoGrande, for he would never be ordinary again! The new Director of Planning, Gale Goldberg, circulated a memo, that she had a plan. She had decided to "rotate the position of Acting Chief Zoning Administrator, in the spirit of providing learning opportunities for as many people as possible." Little Man Mike LoGrande thought this idea was grand, but he had an even better plan. He had no intention of sharing the position with others, when he was such a special man. He simply repeated over and over again; I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! And he convinced Gale Goldberg to appoint him the man. None of the other Associate Zoning Administrators were given the chance, except for Little Man Mike LoGrande. Nothing in life would ever be beyond his reach again, he would no longer be an ordinary man!
Little Man Mike LoGrand remained Acting Chief Zoning Administrator for over a year, even though the law only allowed for one term of one-hundred-twenty-days, with one additional extension of another one-hundred-twenty-days. But that wasn’t enough for Little Man Mike LoGrande. Once again he repeated over and over again; I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! And within a short time, Little Man Mike LoGrande proved again that he wasn’t just an ordinary man. Gale Goldberg appointed Little Man Mike LoGrande Permanent Chief Zoning Administrator. It didn’t matter that many other Associate Zoning Administrators were far more qualified, and had years of experience, unlike that of Little Man Mike LoGrande. Nothing in life would ever be beyond his reach again, he would no longer be an ordinary man!
Unfortunately, for poor misguided Little Man Mike LoGrande, words alone don’t change you from being an ordinary man. Without knowledge and skill, no plan, no matter how grand, could change Little Man Mike LoGrande, from being an ordinary man! Many people throughout the City of L A suffered because of this silly little man. Now you can find Little Man Mike LoGrande, still sitting at the desk of the Chief Zoning Administrator, but he no longer repeats over and over again; I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! Instead, while more and more people demand his resignation, he now repeats over and over again; I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could! How sad for Little Man Mike LoGrande, he would forever be an ordinary man!
My Dear Friends,
A dear wonderful man named Bob Janovici devoted his life for many years as Chief Zoning Administrator for the City of Los Angeles. He made it one of the most respected agencies in the entire City. A few years ago, while on his way to work, dear Bob Janovici was seriously injured in a train crash, and had to retire. Within the short time Little Man Mike LoGrande has been Chief Zoning Administrator, he has destroyed the reputation of a Department that it took dear Bob Janovici years to build! It saddens me to have to tell you about the many people that have suffered because of poor misguided Little Man Mike LoGrande. A dear new friend sent me an e-mail about a dear disabled woman who lives in the West Adams area of Los Angeles, who went to Little Man Mike LoGrande for help with her disability. She has a medical condition that makes it very difficult to walk. Because of the limited parking in her neighborhood, she was forced to walk several blocks to her home when she got home from work at night, in a neighborhood with a high crime rate. Her only solution was to build a driveway at her home. The Former California State Attorney General, Bill Locklear, instructed the City of Los Angeles in 2001, that "local governments have an affirmative duty under fair housing laws to provide reasonable accommodation in disabled housing." He advised jurisdictions, including Los Angeles, "not to use existing variance or condition use permit process because they do not provide the correct standard for making fair housing determinations and because the public process used in making entitlement determinations fosters opposition to much needed housing for individuals with disabilities." On March 18, 2006, Ordinance No. 177.325; Municipal Code Section 12.22-A, 27, became effective "for the purpose of establishing a formal procedure for ‘Reasonable Accommodation’ for individuals with a disability when seeking equal access to housing in Los Angeles." Unfortunately, poor misguided Little Man Mike LoGrande didn’t understand that as Chief Zoning Administrator, he had a responsibility to make sure that this new law was implemented. Instead, when this dear disabled woman from the West Adams area of Los Angeles went to the Department of Zoning, she was told that her only option was to file for a Yard Variance. This dear woman was never advised of her right as a disabled person to file for Reasonable Accommodation, under Los Angeles Municipal Code Section 12.22-A, 27. Instead, this dear woman was force to pay several thousand dollars in fees, only to be told that her needs as a disabled person weren’t as important as historic preservation and visual blight! I am told that this decision violates federal, state, and local law, but that didn’t deter Little Man Mike LoGrande! Because this dear woman from the West Adams area of Los Angeles was a recent widow who didn’t have a lot of money, she attempted to have her daughter appeal the decision to the Planning Commission, at a much cheaper fee than she would have to pay. I am told that the law allows this, but Little Man Mike LoGrande, attempted to prevent this dear woman from getting justice and rejected her daughter’s appeal. Instead, this dear woman was forced to pay close to a thousand dollars more to appeal Little Man Mike LoGrande Department’s decision. It wasn’t until the dear new friend who told me about this matter got involved, that Little Man Mike LoGrande was finally force through threat of civil action against the City of Los Angeles, to correctly grant this dear disabled woman the right to build a driveway at her home, as the law allows her to do because of her disability, and refund the thousands of dollars she had been wrongly forced to pay! The irony of this story is that unlike hundreds of her neighbors in the West Adams community who have illegally built driveways at their homes, this dear woman obeyed the law, and Little Man Mike LoGrande punished her for her honesty!
In another example, some dear people with the South Vermont Avenue Community Coalition
attempted to get Little Man Mike LoGrande to proceed with revocation of Conditional Use Permits to sell alcohol at several locations where crime was rampant and destroying the neighborhood. Unfortunately, Little Man Mike LoGrande only took action against a few locations, and crime problems has continued at the other locations that he ignored! Little Man Mike LoGrande was presented with a four-hundred-and-fifty signature petition, along with personal letters from residents and businesses in the Fairfax District concerning a 7-11 Store that has become a meeting place for criminal activity. Little Man Mike LoGrande was even given letters from dear little children as young as five that live near this 7-11 Store, stating that they were fearful to even go outside to play! But, Little Man Mike LoGrande has ignored the problem and refused to take any action! In yet another example, Little Man Mike LoGrande has proposed to raise the Quimby fees for adaptive reuse, live-work projects in Downtown Los Angeles. Quimby fees were enacted to have developers of residential projects pay for park projects within two miles of their residential developments. However, it appears that no one can locate where the millions of dollars paid into this fun have gone. Now, Little Man Mike LoGrande wants to raise the fees. I can only wonder if anyone has checked to see if Little Man Mike LoGrande has any new landscaping at his home? The list of incompetence displayed by poor misguided Little Man Mike LoGrande is far too long and at my age, I don’t have the energy to mention them all. Instead, I hope that some of my dear friends out there will make suggestions to dear misguided Little Man Mike Logrande, of a job more suitable for a man with such limited abilities. Maybe then Little Man Mike LoGrande will finally be happy. I know all of us that live in the City of Los Angeles will be happy to see him go!
This is your Auntie Mae wishing you all a wonderful day!
13 comments:
I just stumbled upon this blog. Whoever you are auntie mae, you are on the money! Did you know when this "Little Man" applied for the permanent position of Chief ZA, management set a baseline score of 85% for anyone who interviewed? So if LoGrande spoke gibberish--85%! If he drooled--85%! If he stared out in his classic, glassy-eyed look as he is wont to do when he can't make a flipping decision -85%!
It's merit promotions LA style!
little man mike logrande looks at home in that picture riding in the train, I think he should become a train conductor
Thanks for your story Auntie Mae. The only suitable job that I can think of that Little Man Mike LoGrande would be qualified for is picking up poop at a City animal shelter. But forcing the poor animals to be around him might be considered animal cruelety
Auntie Mae,
Your story about "Little Man" was great! As far as suggestions of a job more suitable for a man with such limited abilities; "Little Man" doesn't have to worry about finding any other job as long as he continues to regularly meet Gale Goldberg after work "for drinks" at Pete's Bar!
So Little Man LoGrande is spending time after work with Dragonlady Goldberg? That explains a lot. . .are you talking abut Pete's Cafe & Bar on Main Street?
Bob Janovici would be devastated if he knew what Michael LoGrande has done to Zoning. Poor Bob has been through enough, lets hope he doesn't find out!
I think your story was very unfair! Maybe Mike doesn't have Bob Janovici's abilities and has made a few mistakes, but he's doing the best he can. Not everyone does well on tests, I know I don't. If Mike and Gale Goldberg are spending time together after work that's noone's business but theirs!
You're great Auntie Mae!!!!!! Your story about Little Man Mike LoGrande is a true example of what really goes on in Los Angeles government. It's no wonder that so many people I know have left or retired early because people that have the right qualifications are passed over for promotions while idiots like the little man get ahead! God bless you Auntie Mae for exposing the truth. Keep up the good work!!!!
Why is it that everyone in and outside of the planning dept. knows how incompentent "little man" really is except our wonderful (cough!) planning director? Does the answer lie in these private drinking meets at Pete's and the way Little Man hovers over her attending to her every need during council meetings might mean something more?
Yes that's the place persian prince. If you work for planning you should go there after the dragonlady had had a few drinks and maybe she will give you a promotion like she gave little man
Besides all those afer hours brewski's being imbided at Pete's Bar between the select few special people in the Planning Department and the favors granted by her highness, the fruit basket she got the first day on the job sure opened doors for Little Man Michael LoGrande! I never knew fruit packed such a punch in the job promotion department!
Fruit meet mediocraty.
You people should grow UP and stop knocking people down. You all sound like sore losers. Just because you don't know how to suck up and make your superiors feel like god, doesn't mean you should get mad at those who do. Jealous much?
You act like apple-polishing was just invented.
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